It doesn’t take but a few moments to make a first impression, and human nature being what it is that first impression whether a matter of speech or dress is indelible. But there are those that seem genetically wired to be ugly no matter what the conventions of a society even knowing they are being ugly. Still, the old adage holds true Pretty is as Pretty does.

Reflecting on simplicity in living, neither Henry Thoreau nor I left off civilized language, manners and behavior in order to live so, but this is a matter of taste in some instances. I do have a few things, Henry might suggest they were the “Devil’s doorknobs,” that would require dusting had I a mind to do so. Fortunately, like the spider webs decorating my cottage, they are safe from my ministrations, safe from any attempt on my part to either disturb or better their condition.

As to adopting a vegetarian diet I am not a fanatic on the subject but eventually gave up the eating of animal flesh in the main because it was disagreeable to my imagination, became increasingly barbaric, uncivilized and unclean to my mind and not worth the bother any longer preparing through laborious inventions of cookery and culinary arts. And I am of the same opinion as Henry that how we treat animals is a reflection of the degree of civilization throughout.

In like manner I found that vulgar language, while never approving it even in literature or film became increasingly disagreeable and uncivilized to me as well. It grates on the nerves, on my ears, it makes otherwise beautiful women and handsome men ugly, and like equally ugly, loud raucous noise some mistakenly call “music” in order to justify it I greatly prefer to avoid.

Thanks to my being raised in the tradition of the best of Southern manners and behavior, vulgar or profane language, as with vulgar or sexist “humor” was something considered “low,” and not to be used by the better classes signified and dignified by genuine ladies and gentlemen. My, oh my how the times have changed.

But Carlene Carter had it right: “God can’t make an unbreakable heart.”

Whether the hasty romances of honky tonks or the sophisticated seductions practiced in churches or other environments, the end of most is as Carlene Carter so beautifully phrased it in her song with its marvelously haunting melody, and so many romances only have the participants working on their next broken heart.

Sometimes reverie carries me into those evocative memories of another life from whence came the stories I share in my book Birds With Broken Wings. And as I think about that former life, I realize there was much to it in learning the kind of wisdom resulting from questioning my own. But I would not trade for those experiences that gave me more compassion and understanding of the weaknesses and failures of others.

As a musician and singer, another fellow and I were doing a gig in an upscale supper club where I played clarinet and tenor sax and sang standards like “Funny Valentine.” We were close to finishing the last set of the evening when those at one table who had been especially enthusiastic gave me an idea. There were about twelve people in the group, all dressed in formal evening wear and some had been singing along with us.

I asked if one of the ladies would care to come up on stage and sing. A beautiful, petite brunette was encouraged by her friends to do so. We managed to get her to step up on stage with us and after some short discussion as to her preference, settled on Franky’s New York, New York.

It turned out to be a trio to get her courage up. But very quickly the three of us were really into the song and gave it a grand finale that had everyone in the place loudly applauding. The girl proved to be remarkably talented once her nervousness was overcome. I expressed the hope she would be back. There is nothing like a beautiful woman with a good voice to make your evening complete.

But you are left wondering at such times about the lives of such people when the music has ended. Was her life one where the music continues to play or was it, as with most, composed of just meeting the ordinary needs of the day? Yet music, as with the actual poetry of life, was made to meet just such needs. While life is not for most people music, poetry and flowers (and love letters) we should never forget the need of such things in our lives.

In our society today there seem to be many dedicated to being ugly. For such people no amount of beauty whether of writing, speaking, dress, or civilized good manners on the part of the better classes will dissuade those dedicated to being ugly. But it remains Pretty is as Pretty does. And people are correctly judged on this basis no matter how perverse universities, schools, ACLU dominated Supreme Court and corrupt politicians, media, Hollywood, TV attempt to make it otherwise.