Whether God, Santa Claus, or Barney Fife there are some things we simply want to believe. For me God is too big and Santa too good for me to comprehend, but Barney Fife and Mayberry; ah, these I can at least comprehend, and in most ways to my thinking these sum the best thoughts I have of God and Santa. While “The Waltons” and “Little House” showed so much of human goodness and sacrifice, I would prefer heaven to be more like Mayberry where life was simple and there weren’t so many different shades of grey between good and evil. Certainly the folks of Mayberry had to deal with some very complex issues, but the answers to such complexities were worked out by people being simply good people, and the answers generally simple and satisfactory to the great majority.

At a time when politicians are parading their “faith” for prospective votes, virtually none of us believe these pretenders could tell the truth if their lives depended on it. Well, maybe if their lives really depended on it, but even at that I would still have my doubts whether any of them after building their lives on lies would even know the truth since that has become so alien to creatures like politicians that lie to get elected and continue lying to stay elected.

Most would agree that perfection by whatever definition cannot be monotonous, and my idea of heaven allows for the many imperfections of real human beings, those like Barney Fife rather than Andy Taylor for example. While Norman Rockwell had a genius for describing the ideals of America in such an often poignant way, Barney Fife made Mayberry a picture of America in a manner everyone can relate to, a bumbling braggadocio but with a good heart, and always meaning well no matter how inept at doing well. My, oh my, how very descriptive this is of the best people I have ever been blessed to know. Forget the “perfection” of saints that intend to do me good, give me the imperfections of the Barney Fife’s and I’m content knowing I can trust them and knowing their hearts are in the right place no matter the outcome.

God, Santa, and Barney are not running for President of America. What we are facing are those that think they are God, promise to be Santa, and act like Barney without any of his redeeming virtues like a good heart or even good intentions. These charlatans parading themselves onscreen pandering for votes have no intention of doing good for America, but have every intention of doing good for themselves.

Each Christmas we are treated to the many stories of human goodness surrounding the celebration of the birth of Jesus. The Christmas trees and decorations, the colored lights and gay wrappings and bows of gifts, nativity scenes, poinsettias, mistletoe, holly, distinctive music, marvelous films and cartoon features, all with the charm of the season declaring a spirit of goodwill and hope for peace on earth. But I don’t think many of us have any realistic expectations of this coming to pass. And given those attempting to fill the Oval Office there is no realistic basis for optimism; each one of the candidates reminding me of what a beautiful woman once told me about her way of handling men: “Promise them everything and give them nothing.” Smart girl; unhappy but smart. Still, she knew if she pinned her hopes for happiness on men to be anything other than what they are she was doomed to disappointment.

Are We the People so naïve we are pinning our hopes for “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” on what is being offered us as candidates for the Presidency? I don’t think so. I believe we would settle for someone that would at least make us feel safe, but we aren’t even being offered that. And how can any candidate expect to satisfy the “Gay, Latino, Black, White,” vote? With so many tails wagging the dog, just which tail does a candidate zero in on when America is no longer a nation of We the People, but a fractured and divided nation, a grotesque “dog” with so many “tails” demanding government represent each one of them, not America?

Well, I still believe in God though I don’t comprehend, I believe Santa continues to be the representative of children, but would I really want Barney Fife as our President? Given world conditions we can’t afford anyone to be so good-hearted in the White House with their finger on the nuclear trigger. But neither can I help wishing we lived in an America and in a world where we could have Barney Fife as President.

There are so many ways in which this idea can be attacked, and I’ve gone over them in my own mind knowing how ridiculous the very idea is. Of course we don’t want a president so susceptible to the many frailties and weaknesses of a Barney Fife to be the leader of America. We want someone strong and wise, someone that can deal with the evil, the brutality and cruelty of the real world, not Mayberry. But what if God is more Barney Fife than believers are willing to credit, and what if heaven is more Mayberry than some celestial sphere of imagined “perfection?”

As whimsical as it is, given the greed and corruption that has become synonymous with government and made our leaders to appear bumbling idiots at best, falling all over themselves in their haste for power and wealth how could we do any worse than have someone who at least has the virtues of Barney Fife? And to witness what the MSM considers “news” with its insane and inane preoccupation with “celebrity” is to witness what these consider being “what Americans are; what Americans want!” What this says of the producers of such pap and the purveyors onscreen speaks more for them than it does for normal, ordinary Americans, few of us fitting the TV image being presented to the whole world as a nation of greedy, hedonistic, self-indulgent lunatics! And that aside from the impression that Americans are obsessed with and given to sex and violence as a way of life!

It’s easy to poke fun at Barney Fife, the “one-bullet” gag and so much more. And I’m not so whimsical that I wish we had the choice of a real Barney Fife for President; I actually do live in the real world and not one of whimsy. Yet, when I let whimsy have its way I do wish the world could be like Mayberry and was safe enough for leaders like Barney Fife. And please don’t attempt to demean Barney by suggesting any of the present contenders for the Oval Office even come close to his virtues. Unlike Barney, these charlatans pandering for votes are real bumbling and corrupt fools; and we seem doomed to fall into the hands of one of these rather than anyone having the virtues of Barney.