If Britney Spears could be regressed to what she should have been had not something happened in her early childhood to cause her to make choices she eventually made, what might she be today? Britney may have become another Mother Teresa, a rocket scientist, or world class brain surgeon had not some childhood event caused her to change course. Some may scoff at the idea, but the very same people may believe other things seemingly as fantastic.

Since there is little hope of our government leaders changing their ways of tax and spend regardless of who holds what office, I’ve decided there may be merit to sharing some of my views about healthcare and questions surrounding the death penalty. One reason for my doing this is my disgust at the TV hack/quack Dr. Phil intruding his obnoxious person on a defenseless Britney Spears. God knows the poor girl needs help, but Dr. Phil? I have a mental image of Nesferatu bending over that young woman ready to suck out her life’s blood. But then, what are politicians but vampires?

It would certainly make sense to legalize prostitution and marijuana, to abolish the death penalty and make murderers spend their lives behind bars with no chance of parole and a strict limit on any appeals. It would make sense to secure our borders, enforce our immigration laws and go after those that hire illegal aliens, to amend our Constitution and get rid of the insanity of “anchor babies.” Well, these things have as much chance of happening as my excellent suggestion to turn Bakersfield’s Padre Hotel into a world class whorehouse. More ’s the pity; which only proves brilliant ideas are not always rewarded according to their merit.

Granted I make neither a good liberal nor conservative, and am often condemned by both sides on several issues, nevertheless my sense of justice, of what is right and wrong continues to motivate me to inveigh for some causes I hold dear. And hearing politicians talk about healthcare, I decided to acquaint some who may not have heard about PsychoSearch; my own take on the situation and something I am sure makes Dr. Phil green with envy he did not think of it.

With my background in both science and the social sciences, especially psychology with an emphasis on the paranormal, I realized that regression to past lives held the promise of regression to lives that should have been lived. Far from being the traditional regression and analysis of problems arising from childhood, with the rapid progress of computers this great dream of mine was finally realized, and the classic study of Arnie Schmartzkoptfer was the first successful result. Arnie’s case seemed ideal to test my hypothesis that a person cannot only be regressed like Shirley MacLaine to past lives, but with the computer power now available could be regressed in such a manner as to predict what that person’s life should have been had circumstances been different.

The cause of Arnie becoming a mass murderer, killing over seven hundred elderly people in various nursing homes before being apprehended was well publicized. A few harping critics wondered how it took so long for Arnie to be caught and arrested. This was explained very satisfactorily when it became known that the homes in which Arnie was employed used the same methods and criteria for determining qualifications as those of personnel employed in Social Services and other government agencies. And when questions arose over the demise of a few patients in the care of Arnie, much in the way schools get rid of bad teachers and administrators, and hospitals get rid of bad doctors he would simply transfer to another nursing home and the demand gave Arnie ample opportunity for full employment everywhere with little attention being given to a background check. Even had this been done, confidentiality and fear of lawsuits would have prevented his other employers giving details of his dismissal from other places of employment.

As Arnie’s trial dragged on with great publicity attached, it became clear to me that something had happened to him as a child that caused him to act out this kind of antisocial behavior toward the elderly. And having honed my hypothesis with the customary rats, guinea pigs, and grad students, I was ready for Arnie. My reputation was sufficient to gain me entrance to the poor fellow while in prison (the jury had found him guilty of mass murder but innocent by reason of insanity). Of course, the conditions for testing were ideal since he was confined to the psychiatric ward of the prison. After days of testing, I discovered Arnie had come to this sad pass because of chalk dust. Or, rather say the lack of chalk dust.

Arnie’s first grade teacher, a Miss Granola, was quite elderly and well past retirement. But she used dustless chalk for writing on the blackboard. During Arnie’s regression to that point of his life, I discovered that had Miss Granola not used dust-free chalk, Arnie would have been chosen to shake out the erasers. Deprived of this special privilege of responsibility, Arnie had subconsciously known he was being cheated; and cheated by an elderly person. What Arnie did not understand was that he was being cheated of the life he should have lived as a responsible and productive member of society had he been able to shake out those erasers

With these facts in hand, it was no trouble at all for me to convince a fine lawyer to take Arnie’s case. And just as I believed would happen, a new jury acquitted him on the basis of my findings and an excellent defense by this fine lawyer. Where but in America would such a triumph of justice have prevailed?

But being the sensitive soul that I am, I was grieved to the quick that some few would misunderstand and misconstrue the noble efforts of myself through PsychoSearch. Some even suggested, benighted souls they, that Arnie did not deserve to be set free. Fortunately for Arnie, cooler, and may I say more sensitive heads prevailed.

I notice that the willow flycatcher here locally is being subjected to the same abuse as I have been by misguided people who think they are more important than birds. It is too easy to get caught up in emotions, trivia and peripheral issues and miss the larger picture. After all, was it not for fine legislators, a Supreme Court that cares about America, and my friends like those of the ACLU, caring, knowledgeable and sensitive people just like me, where would America be today?

Granted that a few eggs are broken in making an omelet, like the 700 plus elderly that Arnie dispatched (mercifully, by the way), how can it fail to grieve sensitive people that the real blame was that of a society that simplistically, even callously, failed to take his feelings into consideration? What can you say of a system that would fail poor Arnie in such a manner? This was a miscarriage of justice that cried out for amelioration!

Fortunately, most of the response to my being instrumental in freeing Arnie was quite positive. Not a few commented on the constructive action of his making so many beds available (which are becoming a premium) in nursing homes, savings in Medicare, SSI, etc. In fact, not a few suggested... but I digress; the whole thing of discussing needed and practical euthanasia for the elderly is inevitably met with mindless emotion and fails of cooler heads prevailing.

Far too many are innocent victims like Arnie, that if my talents and PsychoSearch were put to use would be found to be stellar citizens if society had not failed them in the way it failed poor Arnie. But how many are inclined to think of such people as victims? We should beware of the labels given such people, labels like “mass murderer, rapist, serial killer,” labels that are strictly detrimental to justice and good mental health, labels that deny the merits of the individuals and beat down their self-esteem. How can clear-headed people fail to see how this produces victims like Arnie?

I really don’t understand my detractors. If Alzheimer’s is an excuse for running over people with a car, if a prescription is the excuse for killing your own children, if alcohol and drugs are the defenses for countless murders including those caused by drunk drivers, if an underprivileged childhood is the rationale accepted by courts to excuse the most heinous criminals in so many cases, why are people upset with my defending people like poor Arnie for mercifully practicing group euthanasia on the elderly? And if we look to the political scene, nobody is responsible or to be held accountable for any criminal acts, including those that lead to the mass murders of the wars politicians make?