Posted by
Sam Heath on Friday, February 29, 2008 5:57:24 PM
Of several things we used to depend on was Al Capp’s “Sadie Hawkins Day,” a takeoff from the Leap Year tradition (though Al held his annually each November) in which women proposed to men and Daisy Mae and Marryin’ Sam kept trying to capture Li’l Abner. Even Walt Kelly had the little bats comparing the Leap Year tradition to presidential elections, calling them like women chasing men a “popular sport.” But the fun Al had with his version of Leap Year has passed, and presidential elections are no longer the fun Walt had with them let alone being a popular sport since there is nothing sporting about them.
But the traditions of romance allied to Leap Year reminds me of having once owned a 1985 Maserati Bi-turbo, and I learned from experience why some wag said it was the car you wanted your ex-wife to have in the divorce settlement. Among several pronounced problems with these machines was the wiring, which some owners such as me believed was designed by Italian engineers during an extended wine-break. But during those rare times when everything was working properly, it was a sheer delight to drive and I’ve never owned a car that handled so marvelously and could straighten out curves so well at high speed.
Remember the scene in “Operation Petticoat” where the witch doctor is doing his routine for the submarine? Though I’m a well qualified mechanic several times I found myself wondering if something like this, an exorcism, might be required for this car. Being acquainted with Gremlins from WWII, the Maserati Bi-turbo had more than its share. But whether beautiful cars built to race or beautiful women, they both have their quirks and some being quite temperamental require higher maintenance and a higher degree of deftness in handling than others and few men have the right touch in either case. However, we men being kind of stupid when it comes to beautiful women especially will generally lose our mental faculties when we encounter one of these gorgeous creatures.
So it was between me and the Maserati; a true love/hate relationship. Beautiful and temperamental it was the expression of Porkypine pronouncing about the Deacon and Sis Boombah; the poor fellow trying “to figger which fracture is the worse… The broke heart of isn’t got her or the broke heart of is.” Either way, as Porkypine saw it the Deacon was bound to end up with a broke heart.
Well, Porkypine pretty well summed up most relationships between men and women and my experience with the Maserati had its parallel with a few beautiful women I have known, but few people are the demons they are often made out to be in either broken relationships or divorce, so; Happy Leap Year folks.